Growing up or giving in?

So I'm sure I'm not the only one who has been required to keep some sort of log--whether it be in school or at home--and has used multiple writing utensils to catch up and make it look like you've been responsible in keeping it all along. AM I RIGHT?

The difference is (I'm assuming) is that you have all graduated from that behavior. I have not...until last night.

Keeping Rachel's log's has never been an easy task for me. It is tedious. I forget. I have good intentions, so maybe I am headed you know where. Every 12 weeks when we have clinic I promise with all my heart that I will keep records and use them. And then within days...it's forgotten.

Then on the eve of the next appointment I realize that they are going to want to see those numbers. So I stay up late with 4 or five different looking pens/pencils and I fill it in. Sometimes I crumple the papers or leave them on the breakfast table knowing that someone will inevitably spill some milk or something on them. This is what I like to call the "aging process"--making something look 12 weeks old when in reality it is in its infancy.

Why do I do this? I think it stems back from High School and feeling stressed when I knew I wasn't prepared. I still have nightmares.

So for the past (almost) 9 years I've been creating false reports. Not in the sense that the #'s are a lie, but that I'm really not keeping them as I should. Even when I've used the computer software to download--which is much easier but I need new software, so I'm back to writing.

I got away with this with Rachel's doctor at UCLA...he was a young Doogie Houser, if you will, but Doctor Haymond has been around long enough that he can spot falsified reports a mile away. So...I'm giving in. I used one pen to fill in the numbers. I will be honest and upfront in letting him know how I've failed the last 12 weeks to be organized. I'll probably throw in there some things about a 2 year old and remind him of Luke's situation--just for good measure and some sympathy.

I did use a fancy red gel pen to write in the nights we had a lot of protein for dinner to prove my point that protein is a monster in this house. We'll see how he takes it.

So it's nice to not be hiding in shame behind a log that is a lie. Now I can move on. However I will say that I secretly hoped one of the boys would be sick today so I would have to stay home with them...no such luck.

Have a good Friday.